Women's Wisdom: Safe Dating - It's Not Just For Teenagers Anymore
As grown women, we come to rely on the fact that experience matters in many aspects of our lives. We have dated, maybe married and then divorced, and we think we know what we're doing when it comes to first dates and new relationships. But do we really?
We may not meet men at frat parties and dance clubs anymore, but in this age of internet dating and online relationships, ALL women, regardless of age, need a new set of rules to keep themselves safe.
Whether you are an experienced dater or a woman getting back into the game we have the tips you need to make dating safe:
1) Get to know your date
- If possible, Google him before the date and verify as much information as you can. The internet is a wonderful tool but people can easily misrepresent themselves. If he's worth dating, he's worth Googling.
- Try to snap a picture of his licence plate: one of our dating Goddesses arranges to meet her date outside the front door of the bar or coffee house, using her phone to snap his license plate and sending it to a girlfriend's phone.
2) Have an Escape plan
- Text a friend and tell her/him where you'll be and what time approximately you will be home; arrange an emergency code word but also let your friend know if you stay later than planned.
- Bring some friends to the bar with you to discreetly sit off to the side and just be there if you might need back -up in that you feel concerned about your date's behaviour.
- Meeting in a public (and busy) place is always safest; it gives you the most security, the most opportunities to leave, and is the most likely to prevent an uncomfortable situation if things aren't going well. Don't rely on him for your transportation early on in a relationship.
3) Limit the amount of information you give out
- Download an anonymous texting app, or use things like Google Voice or Vonage for blocking phone calls.
- Initiate all the contact; make him give his number, always call or text him, not the other way around.
- Use a nickname, and avoid using emails that can be connected to you. Make sure your email address and phone don't publicize your complete full name - call block that feature on your mobile phone and use a secondary email addy that you can sign up with your nickname.
- Beware: If he is tech-savvy he can find you through your IP address! Be careful!
4)Trust your instincts and watch for the signs
- Look out for sudden and intense passion or aggressive sexual behaviour seemingly not in response to anything you've said or done.
- Watch for "180°" flips in personality, from kind and loving, to accusatory and suspicious of your every move.
- Be aware of aggressive actions or language, controlling behaviour, threats, unjust accusations or impulsivity
- Be aware of repetitive or late night phone calls, drive-bys, or any unannounced drop-ins" at your workplace or home
A new relationship or even just a casual date can be exhilarating and exciting, but it is critical to remember to not get caught up in the moment. No matter how highly a man comes recommended from a friend or how often you may have chatted online, meeting face-to-face always means a certain level of vulnerability on your part. It is not paranoid or suspicious to play it safe and make sure that you have the best, most exciting dating experience possible. That said - there are thousands of great loving men just looking and hoping to meet a great women.
